Junkie Blood.

All I can say is when you come into work one morning, and see your dearly beloved studio owner and friend scrubbing junkie blood off the walls, floor and sheets (since it sprayed everywhere as the jaundiced addict rock star pulled the needle from their veins amidst the broken crack pipes and general sewer-dweller shit) him - too stressed to even *think* that they should at the very least put some gloves on to protect themselves from the numerous blood borne risks at hand - then it may change your perspective of what is ok, and what is not ok when it comes to your glamorous work day in the studio. Here's the skinny: you're going to see things you may or may not approve of, starting with artists smoking a little too much pot, having a little too much to drink and ending with this kind of scenario - or far worse.

Drugs and alcohol use are a given in the world of music and generally not too much of a bother as long as it's low key. Unfortunately, sometimes, it will not be low key and it will potentially be your problem. You may work with a client that loves to drink, and has a narrow window of opportunity in which they are capable of achieving peak, or any performance so you have to become adept at managing that. Your young punk rock client may possibly visit the liquor store across the street for a case of beer and accidentally walk out without paying for it, and you may possibly have to talk the shop guy down from getting the cops involved. He may later knock himself out unconscious tripping over the step into the control room and hey - there's a new problem for you. It's possible that your studio owner gives a shotgun to the singer while he is on an acid trip. All 100% factual possibilities.

And it's not just clients with this affliction, believe me. You may work with a British legend who slurringly demands "oi! fetch me a f**king pizza!" before taking a nosedive under the desk for a nice nap leaving you to finish the mix. Consider this an opportunity. You probably won't get a credit but Mr Hey Get Me A Pizza or Mr I Have To Go To A Premiere, Finish This may possibly develop some respect for you and lead you to other interesting places. Or...just not. Though less prevalent these days, coke is particularly bad for the ears resulting in more than one piercingly bright 80's mix from hell. That EMI "flower budget" sure wasn't always used to buy flowers back in the day if you get my drift. The worst case for me was when the singer died. Yep, died. You, dear reader may get asked to join in, and while it's tempting to be a social animal, my advice is don't, stay away, do your job, keep your head down, and keep your mouth shut. What happens on tour stays on tour, as they say. And be sure to wear protective gloves should you be tasked to clean up junkie blood.

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Adam Whittaker