Sitting On Your Ass

….will hurt you eventually.

“Are you sitting comfortably?” No, of course you‘re not, they didn’t teach you that at recording school. Grab the best chair you can. Your ass will be in a chair, unmoving for periods longer than is humane, in Guantanamo Bay stress position style and your back, will sooner or later - hate you for it. Producer guy will be making full use of the sofa at various points and leaving to make phone calls/find the wifi/swim across the river at the bottom of the property naked/hoover up coke off a stripper, whatever they do these days, sneaking valuable movement into his day. So you, dear engineer DESERVE the best chair in the building. Defend it with your life. Put your name on it. Those fancy Aeron chairs? Worth every penny. I know it’s not as exciting as some fancy new gear, but hear me out. They stop you sweating, getting ass rash, and give your back a fighting chance. You were not designed to sit for 12 hours a day, six days a week. You should be running wild, frolicking, hunting, gathering...damn that crawling pace of evolution for not keeping up with our slacker lifestyle. Darwin has a lot to answer for. That brings me to another horrible truth. Do some exercise. Get out, go for a walk, stretch, be the only guy using the little gym if there is one. You need to do this. When I was about thirty I spent nine months pretty much unable to move my neck like a normal person as something in my body decided to punish me. I learned that this situation occurs when your body thinks you have broken your spine so goes into lockdown mode so you don’t die. I appreciated the concern but all I did the day it happened was get a cup from the cupboard. Nine months of pain, cursing, moving like a robot and trying everything including creepy osteopathy from a far too touchy, feely dude who made me strip to my underwear for no apparently good reason made me a more mindful person regarding my body. Eventually it miraculously went away and since then I have been FAR more attentive to things like setting video monitor heights - get it up to eye level with a pile of books or whatever if you can even if people make fun of you. It drives me INSANE when I see people’s home studio setup and I can already feel the incoming pain. It doesn’t stop there. Later on even got one of those stupid jelly wrist rests as guess what - I got RSI from editing so much crap (I mean drums) in Pro Tools while making one particular album. You want to win this, so you got to stay in this, people!

Yes, the guy who writes this is Bald, English and mixes records at baldenglish.com

Adam Whittaker